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Our environments, whether political or economic, have traditionally been safe spaces for men. They’ve been male dominated. They’ve been like clubs for men. There’s a lot of men who don’t feel comfortable anymore, and the particular space [where] men often don’t feel comfortable or don’t even feel they belong is in diversity work, diversity conferences, women’s empowerment initiatives. It’s true.
I think there are places where men just need to step back and say, “It’s not my show.” But it’s also absolutely critical that we find ways for men to make a commitment just to be working arm and arm with the women around us, whether in our companies or in our communities. I think there’s a lot of men looking for answers, who feel: “Yeah, no, I want gender equality but I’m unsure about this or that. I’m unsure about what to do or to say.”
Men need information. Men need encouragement from other men. We need men’s voices saying that these are key issues for men, but we also need diverse men’s voices. We do experience huge differences in our workplaces, in our society, [and] on the street based on, not just our gender, but based on the color of our skin, on our sexual orientation, [and] our socioeconomic class. But we have to consciously know that some of us carry around forms of privilege that we don’t even know we carry, and that means we’ve got to learn to listen. If men want to be included and feel included and feel part of this, we’ve got to find ways to respectfully listen to women’s voices. It doesn’t mean I’m going to agree with everything I hear, because I’m going to hear different things from different women, but it means we have to encourage listening.
I think one of the keys to creating safe spaces for men to work as allies is through listening, is through being willing to make some mistakes, to not be always right, not be in the right, not have all the answers, to fumble along a bit. To go to a place where it’s not quite as comfortable, but it’s actually a wonderful place. It’s a wonderful place because by being in that space, you’re actually connecting up with humanity. You’re becoming part of a larger world. And it’s not just you’re becoming part of a larger world; you’re becoming part of the history. This gender equality revolution is an amazing, dramatic social change that I think is going to strengthen all of our lives. I think it’s going to create a better society.