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1. Look good to feel good.
New moms, you’ve just had a baby. This is what I’ve learned, not necessarily even from my own experience, but from the experience of 800 new moms who shared what worked for them. You may feel like this is a time in your life when you are least obsessed with your looks than you’ve ever been. It just doesn’t feel as important maybe as it did before. But there are studies that show that if you feel like you look good, you project that to the world, and it absolutely applies in the workplace.
So in terms of makeup, concealer is our friend. Absolutely. You’re probably not sleeping. You probably have circles under your eyes. Use some concealer. The dermatologist who I spoke to who gave great advice said that, essentially, if you have less time in the morning to get ready, you actually want to be able to wear less makeup. And so what that means is taking good care of your skin, and taking good care of your skin she boiled down to two roles: drink a ton of water, take your makeup off at the end of the day. It’s as simple as that.
2. Create a miniature closet within your closet.
When you’re going back to work, you have less time in the morning to take care of yourself because you’re also taking care of the baby. So, of course, you always hear the advice of lay out your clothes the night before. Well, but sometimes, the clothes get spit up on or it’s you have an important meeting.
And also, I have to acknowledge a lot of women feel tortured by their closets in the morning because you haven’t seen a lot of these clothes in over a year. A lot of them don’t fit yet. So best advice I have is to make a miniature closet within your closet of just the things that fit at this moment and are appropriate for your job. You can add to that. If you see you have six pieces of clothing and not a single one of them is a pair of pants, by God, go out and buy yourself a pair of pants. But shop only in the morning from that little section of your closet to just eliminate all of the feelings that come with looking at everything that might not be quite right yet.
3. Wear tops that make pumping at work easier.
One of the biggest challenges that women have getting dressed in the morning for work after coming back from having a baby is if you are pumping, that becomes part of your clothing equation. Button-down shirts are great. Crisscross necklines, a jacket that may allow you some coverage while you pull up a tank top underneath. I would say anything that zips down the back, bad idea. You are probably going to be in a lactation suite, or you might even be pumping in the bathroom. You should not have to, but you might be. It’s really something you have to consider in the morning getting dressed.
4. Redefine “me time.”
And this is a little bit of sad advice, but me time is no longer going to be you lying on a massage table with your face in a massage donut. For now, that is not the definition of me time. Me time is anything that gives you pleasure and feeds your soul. You might even be with your baby when you take that me time. If you are out for a stroll on the weekend and the sun hits your hair and warms it up and feels really good, pinch yourself and stop and notice that and tell yourself, “I’m doing this for me.” And that feeling of having done something for yourself is actually what soothes us more than anything.
Similarly, if you have a commute that is you’re between home and work and you feel like you’re kind of neither here nor there and not any good for any of those people, use that time to be good for yourself. Maybe listen to a podcast you love. Maybe read a book. Maybe you do something that is just 20 minutes of time that is just for you. But then when you get home, remember, you did that for yourself. You’re the person who gave yourself that time.
5. Prepare for emotional outbursts.
Particularly if you’re sleep deprived, emotional outbursts are just part of the territory. It’s just something you have to anticipate might happen. And so the best thing you can do is have a back pocket plan for if and when you do feel a little bit out of control emotionally. It may be something really simple. It might be eating five M&Ms. It might be calling your mom. It might be doing three questions on the crossword puzzle. Whatever it is that you know makes you feel better fast, prepare yourself, have that there in case you need it, and be able to take that time.