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Two Kinds of Feedback
Create a culture where feedback is normalized. And when I’m talking about feedback, yes, obviously, I’m talking about praise. If you are challenging people to do extraordinary things, you need to be there to praise them when they do those things well. Praise is addictive. The moment you receive praise, you want to receive it again. And the moment you see one of your peers receive praise, you now want to work a bit harder to receive that praise as well.
But what I fear sometimes is in this beautiful cultural season that we’ve become so focused on praise that we’ve stopped focusing on criticism. Because while praise is affirmation, criticism is investment. There are few things that a leader can do that are more powerful than being willing to step outside of their comfort zone for long enough to invest in someone else’s growth.
Five Rules for Thoughtful Criticism
As important as criticism is, it’s important to approach it in a thoughtful way in order to make sure that you’re doing it well. And Ken Blanchard’s book, The One Minute Manager, is an amazing primer on exactly that. And he talks about a few things that have become some of the rules that I use to give thoughtful criticism. The first, criticize the behavior, not the person. It’s important to recognize someone is not their behavior. But sometimes behaviors need to be pointed out and redirected.
Second, criticize without emotion. The moment you bring emotion into a conversation, it becomes unnecessarily emotional. Guards go up. People are no longer able to receive the message we’re trying to deliver. On that same note, criticize in private, not in public. You criticize someone in front of their peers, it just brings shame. And you’re no longer able to actually receive the message someone’s trying to send.
Next, you need to be willing to criticize yourself as well. Because the moment a leader steps up and holds themselves accountable to the people around them those same people become that much more willing to want to receive criticism from them. And then a global rule is people need to be told not to get defensive when they are receiving criticism. Because if you’re the kind of person that gets too defensive every time someone tries to invest in your growth guess what they’re gonna do? They’re gonna stop investing in you. Which means that you’re gonna stop growing.
Building a Feedback Culture
Now, if you decide that you want to engage in this stuff and your culture is not one where feedback is the norm but you’d like to evolve it into becoming that, don’t just randomly start giving people a ton of feedback. Spend a couple weeks talking about feedback, praise, and criticism. Why they both matter. Why you’ve made the decision to foster a culture where they are the norm. And then, once everyone understands what you’re doing and why you’re doing it, make sure you start doing it consistently.