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Look for solutions
When things are not going well on a particular project, which is very often the case when you’re working on a TV series for six months, you might go through a six-week period of feeling like this makes no sense, like no one’s going to understand this thing, and then you might spend the next two months really elated. I am a complainer, like most people. I’m, you know, human; that’s a very normal reaction, to complain, to complain about your bosses, to complain about the audience who doesn’t get it.
When you’re in a position of leadership, it never helps to complain, for a few reasons. I mean, one is, people who are working with you might not have those same gripes. Some people might be loving the project, not realizing that you’re having a panic attack every night about it, not being able to connect to an audience. And so, to complain shifts their perspective from something going well to maybe something being problematic.
Also, it shows, kind of, an inability to rise above a problem. When you’re in a position of leadership and you are trying to think instead of how things could go well, it helps other people to feel that way too. If you know something’s not working, and this happens all the time; this particular scene’s not working, this actor’s not exactly showing up the way I need them to; the thing to do is to try to kind of work on it, work with the actor, fix the scene. It creates obviously a better mood amongst a group of people, but also helps the project get better because you’re coming from a place of not thinking that it’s a failure, but thinking that there are a thousand solutions.
Reconcile differences
The other thing I do is never criticize people I’m working with. I just try to think of how I can best serve the thing. I find you go down a very quick slope when you start complaining, especially to colleagues, about your boss. Sometimes it could be cathartic, and sometimes it could commiserate in a nice way, but to get into a habit of that, I just don’t find helpful. If the boss is doing something that’s dangerous or inappropriate, of course you should talk about that with your colleagues, commiserate, and figure out a way to get rid of that boss or to fix the bad behavior.
But oftentimes, if the boss kind of just has a different way of doing things than you might. The important thing is to try to kind of figure out the way you can best serve that project. Try to have a conversation with that boss to say, you know, “The way I work best is this. If there’s any way we can kind of integrate the way I work with the way you work, that would be really beneficial to me, I think.” To kind of just complain on the side to your colleagues typically ruins the experience for your colleagues and doesn’t help the particular project.
Show both confidence and vulnerability
When you’re on a movie set, especially in a position of leadership, a lot of times that means making decisions that feel completely arbitrary. For example, should we have red pillows or blue pillows on this couch? And it’s never crossed your mind what pillows should be on the couch when you were writing the script two years ago. Even now, as you look at the couch, you think, doesn’t make a difference at all. The important thing is sometimes to just be confident about making a choice, because that’s the way systems sometimes need to function. And even though the blue pillows might be better in the long run and you’re not considering that now for 10,000 reasons, you choose the red ones; usually it doesn’t make a difference. And so, there’s a great anecdote of Mike Nichols, the wonderful filmmaker, being given this choice: “Sir, do you want red pillows or blue pillows?” And he said, “Oh, of course blue.” And they asked him later, “Why, of course, blue?” He said, “Because we had to make another decision two seconds later.” And so, sometimes being a leader is just kind of being efficient and confident and kind of projecting a certain level of confidence because you’re working with people who are looking to you to, kind of, be a motivator.
As a leader, you’re really the ambassador for the project. You have to be kind of the representative of its best form so that you can try to get others to, kind of, come onto the same page of how can this thing be great. Sometimes, though, that means being transparent and saying, you know, “I’m a little worried today, everybody. I’m worried we’re not going to make this day ’cause it’s going to rain in two hours, and we have to stop shooting when it rains.” “I’m feeling a little worried today. I’m going to try to hold it together. Thank you so much for bearing with me. Thank you so much for bearing with the weather. Thank you so much for being here in these tough conditions.” So, sometimes being a leader is expressing your vulnerability and nervousness so that it, kind of, can humanize the experience and give others the opportunity to also feel that way and to not feel that they’re angry because the rain is going to come, but actually, yeah, we’re all working on this thing together, and it sucks that it’s going to rain, and let’s try to do as good a job as we can while the sun is out.