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When you’re trying to form habits, it’s really important to understand how you’re different from other people because different habits are going to work better or worse for different people. I call this the strategy of distinctions because when you know what’s distinct about you, you can set up a habit in a way that’s going to allow you to succeed. In my observation, when people fail, it’s because somehow they’ve gone about trying to set up a habit because that’s what Einstein did or that’s what worked for their brother. But it’s not what works for them. And so then the habit just doesn’t take.
Lark or Owl?
One of the most basic things to ask about yourself is, are you a lark or an owl? Now sometimes, people are just in between but a lot of us are morning people or night people – larks or owls. For instance, I’m a morning person. And this has huge consequences for your habits because you can’t violate your own nature.
There’s a million reasons on paper why it makes sense to exercise first thing in the morning. We’ve all read that article, and it’s obviously true on paper. But if you’re a night person, you’re just not going to get up at six o’clock in the morning and go for a run. You probably can barely get out of bed in time to get to school, or to work, or get up with your kids, or whatever. The world is set up for larks, and if you’re an owl, it’s really hard to get up just for the ordinary time. And I know so many people who, whenever they’re trying to set themselves a new habit, want to go into that early morning time, even though they’re night people. They’re setting themselves up to fail because it’s just not realistic. So the first thing to say is, am I a lark or an owl? When do I feel energetic, productive? And how do I shape my schedule in order to take advantage of that natural inclination.
As a morning person, I used to assume that night people could just turn themselves into morning people if they just went to bed earlier and worked on it. But, in fact, research suggests that this is really hard-wired. Part of it is your genetics; part of it is age. Because say, teenagers, tend to be natural owlish and older people tend to be more larkish. But to a very great degree, this is just something that’s hard-wired in us. And so instead of trying to fight your nature, which you’re not going to be able to do very successfully, change your circumstances and really set up the habit in a way that’s going to be suitable for you.
Marathoner, Sprinter, or Procrastinator?
A very important distinction that comes up with personal productivity and also people working in teams is, are you a marathoner, a sprinter, or a procrastinator when it comes to your work style? Now I’m a marathoner, and we marathoners like to work steadily over the long term. We like to do a little bit each day. We don’t like to be up against a deadline. Like of the tortoise and the hare, we’re the tortoise. We like to start early, work steadily, very calmly over the long run.
But some people are sprinters. They like the deadline. They like the adrenalin of coming up against a finish line. They feel like it clarifies their thought and promotes their creativity. And they feel that if they start too early, they waste time, and they just fritter it away, they lose momentum. And so they really do much better when they put everything at the end. Like a friend of mine who said that she comes up with her ideas for a speech when she’s mic’d up and standing behind the curtain ready to walk out to a podium. And there’s no right way or wrong way. Marathoners – their way works for them, and the sprinter way works for them. It can become a tension if there’s a team because these are very different ways of approaching work. So it’s a question of managing yourself and understanding how other people are working.
But here’s the thing. There are also procrastinators. Now, procrastinators look like sprinters because they also do work right up against a deadline. But there’s a real difference. Sprinters like working up against a deadline. They enjoy that adrenalin, and they usually are very happy with the work product that they get. The procrastinators wish they could work early. They’re not doing it purposefully. They wish they could work, but they’re delaying working, they’re putting it off, so they tend to be very anxious. They do a lot of work at the last minute, and then often they don’t finish on time or they’re not pleased with their work product. They regret it. They feel like if they had more time, they could have done a better job.
So if you’re a procrastinator, don’t be fooled by the sprinters by thinking like, “Oh, well, this is a good way.” If it doesn’t feel right to you, figure out ways to change your work habits so you can start early or have more of a cushion of time. But if you’re a sprinter, even if the marathoners like me are criticizing you and telling you not to keep putting it off, just understand that’s the natural work style that works for you and that allows you to be as creative and productive as you want to be.
Opener or Finisher?
Are you a finisher or an opener? And it turns out there’s a real difference among people. Some people love to finish. They love to cross something off of a to-do list. They love to complete even something like squeezing the last little drop of toothpaste out of the toothpaste tube. They love the finish.
Openers love to open. They love a new project. They love any kind of opening, any kind of possibility. And a friend of mine who’s a law professor said, well you know, she has like seven drafts of papers and like a couple outlines of curricula that she would love to teach because she loves opening. But she’s never done the last bit of work that it would take to finish off the paper and submit it or to submit the curriculum that would become a new class that she could teach. She loves the opening. She’s less interested in doing the finishing.
And so it’s really important when you’re thinking about your work style, to think like, “Well, I love to open, but I really want to push myself to finish so I get kind of the benefit of whatever work I’m doing.” And not get so carried away with opening that you never get to actually cross something off the to-do list.
Promotion-Focused or Prevention-Focused?
When it comes to forming habits, it turns out that some people are promotion-focused, and some people are prevention-focused. And if you know your own nature, then you can frame habits in a way that’s more interesting to you.
So promotion-focused people like to focus on the upside. They want more praise, more fun, adding things, enriching their lives. And prevention-focused people really want to ward off danger, meet their duties, make sure that they keep bad things from happening. So you can imagine if you were trying to have better eating habits, a promotion-focused person might think of like, “Oh, I’m going to eat for energy, and I’m going to cook new meals with all these fabulous new natural ingredients.” And a prevention-focused person thinks something like, “Oh, this is going to keep me from getting heart disease, or I really am very focused on cutting out carbs.” And thinking about how to keep bad things from happening versus encouraging good things to happen.
Small-Stepper or Big-Stepper?
A really useful thing to know about yourself as you’re embarking on habit change is, do you like to take small steps or do you like to take big steps?
Now, for many people taking small steps is a great way to start habit change. You keep things very manageable. You pile up a lot of accomplishments because you’ve made it very realistic. You get into the habit of the habit. And then you work towards greater and greater challenges as you get deeper and deeper into the habit. And there’s something just very reassuring about having that success under your belt that lets you march forward. And by keeping the bar very low, you make it very easy to clear.
However, although that sounds very sensible, the fact is, some people prefer to take big steps. They’re more excited by a big challenge. They like the idea of a big transformation or a major shift in their life. So for them, that’s what’s going to really help them stick to it and be excited.
So let’s say you’re trying to eat more healthfully. Well, maybe one person would say, “I’m going to cut out, you know, cookies,” which is a small thing. And then another person would say, “I’m going to take out carbs altogether,” which is a giant category. Well, it’s not that one way is right or wrong, but it’s what works for you.
Let’s say you’re trying to write a novel in your free time. One person might say, “Okay, I’m going to have the habit of writing one sentence a day until I get that in the habit.” Keep it very low, very manageable, very small steps. Another person might say, “I’m going to start off by writing for two hours every afternoon.” They want something big, and that’s what captures their attention.
So like so many things with habit formation, it’s not that there’s a right way or wrong way. It’s whatever works for you. When do you succeed? What captures your imagination? What makes you feel like sticking to that habit?