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I identify 21 strategies of habit change, but there are four strategies that I call the pillars of habits because these strategies really tower above other strategies. And those are monitoring, which is just, monitor whatever it is that you want to change. Scheduling, which is actually making a place for a habit in your schedule, a specific place in your calendar. Accountability, which is somehow holding yourself accountable even if it’s only to yourself, but just this feeling that someone’s paying attention, someone’s watching over you. And then finally foundation. And foundation are the habits that are the most important habits for giving you self-command.
1. Monitoring
Monitoring is kind of like an uncannily effective strategy because the thing is, even if you don’t consciously try to change what you’re doing — you’re not trying to spend less time on the internet. You’re not trying to drink less. The fact is, when you monitor something, you start doing a better job with whatever that is. Anger management, productivity, eating or drinking. There’s something about just knowing exactly how much you’re doing of something, even if you’re not trying to mess with how much you’re doing it, it just starts steering you in the right direction. So monitoring is useful for anything.
If something counts for you, figure out a way to count it. Even if it’s something that seems like — family time. It’s like, “How can I monitor family time?” You can monitor family time, you know. Get yourself a time log, and start keeping track of how much time you spend with your family. Or what time you get home from work every day. Or what time do you actually get up.
And, of course, now there’s all these new tools, you know. There’s all these wearable devices that can tell you exactly how much sleep you’re getting, how many steps you’re taking. And what people find is, once they have that information readily available to them, they start doing a better job. And research shows, with monitoring – no surprise – that we tend to overestimate how much we do of things like exercising or sleeping, and we tend to dramatically underestimate things like how much are we actually eating in a day. So monitoring is very good because you can’t kid yourself about what your habits actually are.
2. Scheduling
Scheduling is just this fact that if you put something in your calendar, for most of us, it makes you much more likely to stick to it. There’s something about the specificity, you know, like figuring out exactly when and where you’re asking yourself to do something. So it’s not like, “Oh, I’m going to go for a bike ride today.” It’s like, “I’m going to go for a bike ride at 9:30 in the morning.” It eliminates the decision-making of when and where something’s going to happen. There’s sort of an accountability, or a sense of, “Well, I need to get this done if it’s on my calendar.”
And then sometimes there’s things that you need to schedule because otherwise they just might never actually get done. For instance, I wanted to spend more time with my teenage daughter. And instead of just letting it be this free-floating wish that I had, I was like, “Okay, every Tuesday afternoon I’m going to pick her up from school, and we’re going to spend time together.” That’s on my schedule. I protect that time just like any other meeting or obligation that I have. And so then it happens because it’s on the schedule.
But here’s an important caveat: rebels. There aren’t that many rebels out there, but they are there. And for rebels, putting something on the schedule is actually counterproductive. For them, it makes it worse. They hate feeling like they are stuck to a schedule. And even if it’s something they’ve chosen to do, like take a woodworking class, the mere fact that it’s on the schedule and they’re supposed to go there makes them not want to go. Rebels should not do scheduling. Rebels should choose. “I choose to do this because this is what I want right now.” So for most people scheduling is highly effective, but for the rebels, it’s a negative.
3. Accountability
Accountability is so important for so many people. Most of us just do a much, much better job at anything when we know that there’s some kind of accountability. If you are an obliger, which is one of the biggest — maybe the biggest — of the four tendencies, external accountability is crucial. It is the absolutely key element for success with sticking to a habit or any kind of behavior. But just about anybody benefits from some kind of accountability. And this is why things like deadlines, and late fees, and perfect attendance records are helpful to people because the sense that someone’s watching, someone’s keeping track, for most of us is just a very helpful thing.
And so if you know about yourself that you do better with accountability, look for creative ways to find that accountability. Have an accountability partner. Find a friend. Start a habits group of people who are going to help each other stick to their habits, even if they’re all following all different habits. There’s a lot of creative, innovative ways that people can build in accountability if it’s missing because it really is one of the most effective ways of sticking to a good habit.
4. Foundation
The strategy of foundation has to do with the habits that allow us to assert self-command. When we’re trying to make a change in our lives, we have to muster up our self-command. And self-command is hard. It’s draining. It’s taxing. And certain habits go right to self-command. And so they have a special priority because if you can get these things under control, you’re going to do a much better job with your habits generally.