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Give people what they need
So one question is, if you’re managing other people, should you be conscious of their habits and think about their habits? How you can change their habits? And I think yes, absolutely. Because habits are – they’re 40 percent of what we do every day, and they have huge consequences in the workplace. From everything from — of course, if you work for a company that would really like for you to be healthy, and not burned out, and not have sick days. And so your health habits and your work habits matter for them. And then also just in terms of productivity and creativity.
And once you understand people’s habits, clearly, it’s much easier to see how you’re different from other people. One of the things when I started this is, I really didn’t understand how I was different from other people. I didn’t understand how other people saw the world in a different way. Once you understand there’s no right way, there’s no wrong way, there’s just whatever way is right for a certain person. Then there’s a lot less judgment, there’s a lot less criticism, there’s a lot less, “Why don’t you do it my way?” And understanding like, “Well, how do we work together? How do I give you what you need?”
So for instance, if you’re managing a questioner well you might think like, “It’s ridiculous that you’re asking me all these questions.” But that’s important for a questioner. And once they’re convinced, they’re going to be absolutely on board. And so that might make you more patient with a person that you might have felt a lot of annoyance with because you felt like, “Well, why won’t you just do what I say?” Well, you have to get them on board.
Or even understanding the times of day. Like when are you scheduling a meeting? If everybody on your team is a night person, don’t have a 7:30 a.m. staff meeting because people are going to be late. They’re going to be foggy. You’re not going to see their best, most creative, most engaged selves. So just by identifying these things, then you can take it into account — not necessarily change what you’re doing. But think about well, how could everybody work together so that we can all get to the place that we want to get with the least friction as possible.
Work with each tendency
I think it’s really important to think about the four tendencies and how they might apply in the situation. Because it’s perfectly obvious that the kind of thing that you would do to help yourself or help someone else stick to a habit would be very different depending on their tendency.
Well, for an upholder, basically anything would work because upholders just naturally uphold.
For a questioner, it’s really important to convince them that this is really worthwhile. This is a good use of your time. This makes sense. This is rational. This is sensible.
For an obliger, the key thing is external accountability. Once you plug in that external accountability, no problem. If that external accountability is not there, there’s going to be a real, real struggle. So maybe you need to work out with a trainer. Maybe you need to have an accountability partner. You know, a deadline. Some kind of accountability.
And with rebels, it’s very important – this is what they want. If you’re a rebel you’re doing this because this is what you like to do, this is what you want to do, this is what you choose to do. This is how you express yourself. You go running not because you’re supposed to, because your doctor tells you to, or because you signed up for a class, or because you’re going to let someone else down. You do it because you love feeling energized. You love being outside. You love feeling energetic. You identify with the idea of yourself as a runner. These are the kind of things that are persuasive to rebels.
And so once you understand someone’s tendency, you’re much – or your own tendency – you’re much better able to frame a habit in the terms that are really going to resonate, and therefore stick.