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Mastering The Confidence Code: Speak Up Without Upspeak, with Claire Shipman, Journalist and Co-author, The Confidence Code
I think we all know what upspeak is…but maybe we don’t. Let me see if I can do this. It’s essentially that uptick at the end of a sentence when it’s not even a question. So, “I think we should go with the marketing strategy?” Instead of, “I think we should go with the marketing strategy.” You can hear how it makes the person using it sound less authoritative and less sure of themselves. We weren’t that focused on this but one psychologist at the University of Michigan told us, look, this is a real pet peeve of mine. He has so many incredible, qualified female graduate students who just didn’t sound as though they knew as much about their research as they should. But the interesting thing he said, is part of this doesn’t just stem from old valley girl talk. Part of it is this natural inclination women have to get people to agree with them. So we’re almost using that uptick as a way to soften whatever it is we’re saying because we’re seeking consensus. And I think understanding that instead of just saying, “You sound stupid, stop doing that”, is really helpful. And I think the more that we can get younger women…and I hear this already with my daughter, she’s nine. And I say, “Ah, don’t do that!”. Because they get into this pattern of doing it. But once you can explain, look, this is what it sounds like. It sounds as though you’re not sure of what you’re saying. Once you’re aware of it, it’s pretty easy to get a lid on it. It’s so important for women.