Oftentimes, our most effective form of communication happens before we even open our mouths. Best-selling author Robert Greene and clinical psychologist Daniel Shapiro PhD reveal how body language silently shapes our identity, influence, and power. From nonverbal dominance to mastering conflict, they break down why we lose arguments and explain how to navigate them without conflict. By mastering these subtle signals, anyone can expand their own influence and create deeper trust, stronger presence, and lasting impact without ever saying a word.
We created this video for Brain Briefs, a Big Think interview series created in partnership with Unlikely Collaborators. As a creative non-profit organization, they’re on a mission to help people challenge their perceptions and expand their thinking. Often that growth can start with just a single unlikely question that makes you rethink your convictions and adjust your vantage point. Visit Perception Box to see more in this series.
ROBERT GREENE: We are completely social animals. Our identity is formed in our interactions with other people, of how other people look at us, and how other people react to us. We have to understand that nonverbal communication and non-verbal cues play an enormous role in our social life. A lot of human communication is non-verbal. You're just not aware of it. There are certain nonverbal cues that indicate strength and power and leadership. Sitting up tall, making everybody look at you, being the center of attention—that kind of body language is incredibly powerful. There are other kinds of body language that are very weak. If someone's constantly stroking themselves, stroking their hair, that indicates insecurity. Anybody can lie about themselves with words. They can say anything. Body language, non-verbal communication—it is almost impossible to lie.
DANIEL SHAPIRO: I personally, I feel uncomfortable around conflict. But conflict is useful. The question is how do you deal with conflict most effectively. What I found is that there are three big barriers that we can actually overcome to have more effective arguments, more effective conversations. The number one thing to focus on: As you're having that conversation with the other side? The moment your identity gets hooked in these conflicts, all of a sudden your emotions become 100 times more powerful. You need to know who you are and what you stand for. The more you understand who you are, the more you can try to get your purpose met and stay balanced even when the other threatens those core values and beliefs. Two: When you're in the midst of the conflict, don't talk. Take the first ten minutes consciously to simply listen to the other side. Once you truly understand and see the value in their perspective, let them know, “I hear where you're coming from. And you know what? That makes sense.” Third: What's the emotional connection like between you and the other side? Turn that other person from an adversary into a partner. So it's no longer me versus you, but the two of us facing the same shared problem. Now, you put these three things into practice, it can transform your relationships—and ultimately our world.
